on December 13, 2013
Genres: Contemporary Romance, New Adult, Romance
Buy on Amazon
Life works in mysterious ways.
Four years ago I became known as the girl with cancer.
I refuse to cry.
And I refuse to give in.
A relationship with a man is the last thing I’m looking for right now, but one night with Parker changes everything. He is persistent, and he knows what he wants. Me.
He doesn’t treat me like I’m fragile.
But he doesn’t know, and I’m not ready to tell him.
What if it changes everything?
Tragedy found me when I was seventeen.
Love found me when I was twenty-one.
My name is Aundrea McCall, and this is my journey.
This is supposed to be a book review about What’s Left of Me by Amanda Maxlyn. I’m going to try and review it. My emotions are running all over the place. This story brought up some very painful memories. Memories I avoid like the plague.
Aundrea has cancer.
I hate people taking care of me.
I hate feeling lifeless.
I hate feeling helpless.
All she wants is for people to treat her like a normal person. She doesn’t want the pity or the sadness. She doesn’t want them to avoid her or look at her like she’s different. She doesn’t want them to handle her with care for fear of hurting the girl with cancer. She’s 21 and she wants to live like every other normal 21 year old would live. Yes she’s going through chemo. Yes she sick more than she’s not. But for just a little while she wants to just be normal.
I refuse to give in.
I refuse to back down.
I refuse to submit.
I refuse to cry.
In an attempt to be carefree, Aundrea agrees to go out one night with her friends. With her confidence firmly in place, she allows herself to have fun. It’s this night that she meets Parker. Deciding on a whim to really let go, she goes home with him. For her it’s a one night stand. It’s living. It’s being carefree. She slips out the next morning after an amazing night and she doesn’t look back.
Parker however, doesn’t want to forget.
He wants Aundrea.
A relationship is not in the cards for her though. She doesn’t even want him to know she’s sick. She finally relents on the premise they can date casually. What Parker is able to give her is something she could never find on her own. She feels alive with him.
Who is Parker? A friend.
A man I slept with once.
A man I’m spending time with.
A man I enjoy spending my time with.
A man who makes me laugh.
A man who makes me feel alive.
A man who makes me forget about the shit I have going on.
Parker is so taken with Aundrea. He’s so gentle and sweet and at the same time cocky and confident. He’s also in the dark. He has no idea what Aundrea is dealing with day to day.
“The second I laid eyes on you that night, through the mirror, I knew it.”
I cried a lot during this book. I’m not sure if others will be as affected as I was. Maybe if cancer has touched your life as it has mine, you too will be emotional. You may not know what it’s like first hand but I’m sure there is a character in the story you can identify with. For me it was Aundrea’s sister Genna. I think the epilogue was probably the hardest to read. I was so invested in the story at that point. All of my own memories were right on the surface. My throat was burning and I couldn’t see the words yet I kept reading. I had to.
My dad dies of Lung Cancer March 5, 2007, five months after diagnosis. He was only 57. I lived on the east coast. He on the west coast. I will never forget the phone call from him telling me he was sick. I flew out immediately to see him. I needed to physically hold him. I needed to know the truth. My dad was a proud man. He was absolutely convinced that he could beat it. When he told me the doctors gave him 4 to 6 mos, he smiled. He said “honey I’m coming to Virginia to see you next summer, I’m not dying any time soon.” I remember getting on the plane to fly home, I couldn’t stop my tears. I knew that it was most likely the last time I would ever see my dad. After intensive radiation and chemo, we all knew his time was running out. But he never gave up. In fact he bought a boat lol. Everyone was upset with him, except me. I understood why he did it. He was looking for hope, he wanted something to look forward to. Unfortunately, he never went out on that boat. The next time I saw him was March 4, 2007. He was heavily sedated and wasn’t really responding to anyone. I walked in, came up to him and said “Hey Dad it’s Adrienne.” I watched him struggle to open his eyes. He knew I was there and even though he didn’t look like my daddy, I was comforted in knowing that he tried to wake up for me.
Thank you for reading this review. For allowing me to share a part of me with you. I hope that you take the time to read What’s Left of Me. It gave a fairly accurate description in my opinion not only of someone living with cancer but also of the people they surround themselves with.
*A copy of this book was kindly provided by the author in exchange for an honest review*
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